stephanie contoni

apandemia:

anjhuzen:

thecakebar:

Birthday Cake Shots

who’s making these for my fucking birthday

So uh my birthday is coming up in a couple months and…

05.22.13 ♥ 24771

Source Reblogged

(I’m running errands for my pregnant wife. While walking to a nearby store, I see two teenagers harassing a child that is only four or five years old. I shoo them away from the boy, and he introduces himself.)

Me: “So, where’s your mom at?”

Boy: “She’s in the store. Do you have kids?”

Me: “Not yet. We’re expecting a baby girl soon, though.”

Boy: “Well, she’s going to turn out nice, like you! So, I’m going to marry her someday!”

(I laugh, and play along while I bring him to the service desk, and wait until his mom picks him up. Six years later, my daughter comes home from school and introduces us to a friend that defended her against a bully on the playground. I didn’t recognize him, but he certainly knew who I was!)

05.22.13 ♥ 59881

Source Reblogged

when i’m married my partner and i will have:

morning sex

afternoon sex

dinner sex

after meal sex

i made pancakes sex

good morning sex

they kids are at school sex

shower sex

bored sex

make up sex

break up sex

obama won sex

romney lost sex

monday sex

tuesday sex

wednesday sex

thursday sex

friday sex

saturday sex

monday sex

there is nothing on tv sex

i love you sex